Helping Children to Deal With Separation: What You Should Know

Helping Children to Deal With Separation: What You Should Know

February 24, 2015 Off By Adam Kirby

Children feel emotions way more intensely than adults. While you may think that you’re hurting more than they are over a separation, you’re probably wrong. They do understand that something negative is going on, even if they don’t voice it. They pick up on things from you. If you’re going to help your children to deal with this change, you need to be honest with them. You need to reassure them that everything is going to be OK. You need to let them know they can talk to you, no matter how silly something may seem. Here, we talk about it in more detail:

Make Sure Your Children See Both Parents

You can’t stop your children from seeing the other parent, unless you genuinely believe they are a danger to them. Regardless of how or why you separated, the kids do not need to suffer. They should still stay in contact with their other parent as much as possible; use phone calls, letters, text messages, and visits.

Make Sure They Know Exactly What Will Change

Children often have a fear of the unknown, so you need to make it clear to them what they should expect to change. Will they change schools? How often will they see their other parent? Will you move house? How often will they see their other family? You need to be totally honest with them.

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Try to Get Along With Your Ex for Your Children’s Sake

It will be difficult, but you should try to get along with your ex for your children’s sake, even if it’s just a show for them. You must put on a united front when it comes to parenting; this means consulting one another before you make big decisions and things. You don’t want your children to learn that they can play you off against the other parent.

Do Not Point Fingers

Putting the blame on somebody does not help at all. Your children will more than likely feel like they are at fault anyway, so the most important thing is to make it clear that they aren’t. Never tell your children that it was your fault or the other parent’s fault, simply be as honest as you can without pointing fingers. Younger children won’t need as much detail, but older children might want to know more.

Don’t Talk Badly About Your Ex in front of the Children

Never talk badly about your ex in front of your children. They might feel like they are expected to take sides and that’s not something you want, explain this Family Solicitors in Bolton.

Really Listen to Your Children

When your children talk to you, really listen to what they’re telling you. Don’t tell them they’re being silly, as this will stop them from confiding in you. Help them and reassure them in anyway you can.

Be Patient

It might take some time for your kids to come round to the idea of separation. You must be patient with them. You might feel like you’re going backwards and forwards. Just be persistent and do your best!